A Summer of Anxiety

Hello!

As summer is coming to an end, harvest is near!

This year we have been in such a drought, so all the fields at work are getting mowed over instead of harvested. It has been such a slow year, but I have learned a lot along the way.

This summer, I have been working for my university at one of the agriculture research centers. Not only has it been exhausting, I don’t feel like I have done anything exciting and fun. As an Agriculture Education student, I have been able to learn over 150 different types of weeds and which herbicides will destroy them. I quickly have learned that I am good at memorizing things and it’s fun to explore, BUT I don’t like spraying and researching chemicals. Everything will be useful in the classroom, though.

I have also decided to move out of the dorms this year and have moved in with some very awesome roommates. It does make me have anxiety wondering whether I will need to get another job on top of classes and my part-time job in my college town. You may notice ads and whatnot, but I am so tired and need a break. I have found it is so easy for someone to burnout, especially someone with the goals I do. I have been neglecting this blog, and the lord and it is not cool.

Starting this summer, I didn’t give myself a break to breathe after finishing my last class of the day and moving home. I went straight to work. On top of the 40 hour work week, I started taking a summer class, knowing that I wouldn’t be able to do as well as I wanted in it. My internship required me to go back to campus in June to work on a few things. I finally got a vacation to Florida in July, but it causes me so much anxiety being away.

We had a lot of fun in Florida! We finally got to swim with dolphins and go zip-lining! The lord created the most gorgeous ocean! It was such a blessing we got to go. It rained everyday we were there and I noticed myself becoming envious of the green grass and crops they have growing there. My area has not gotten an inch of rain in over a month. I am praying for rain. Although Florida was fun, I wish I would’ve been able to relax. I wish I could say I was debt-free, but the degree won’t pay it’s own way into my brain. I have been saving for the trip for awhile and didn’t spend as much as I thought I was going to, which is a good thing. It is about time I get back to my college town. I need community, tasks, and to feel busy. I need the lord again.

This post is probably all over the place for you guys, but it’s how I’m feeling. As I dive in today, I wish I hadn’t of put the lord on the back burner for the summer.

Here are a few verses that I reflect on as I think about this summer:

Luke 12:25- “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to hisspan of life?”

Proverbs 14:30- “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones”

Here are some pictures from this summer!